TalkingToMyself

 The last time I spoke to myself was eight days ago. Does time fly so fast or am I travelling on a time train as a daily passenger. So what happened in these days and what changed, well nothing changed so big, or somethign happened that I desired for. Life seems to be same as it was.  My daughter who is just studying in lower kindergarten has her exams from Wednesday (next to next day), well that sounds little sweet, but still I am focused on my littlle child as I want her to be her best. Well, my major concern that still bothers me is this house where I live in, the people around me, the atmosphere where I am living. I am not judging anyone, everyone must be right in their place, but everyone may not be compatible with each other. Its just what we are and are we able to stay the same in our circumstances. Simplest things in life can be a troublemaker sometimes. The simple desires we have in life may not be fulfilled always. Or either it is our choice how we desire to live our...

 With the same note my day continues, I don't know whether I am unwell or tired or stressed or simply miserable.  Life is now a journey on the river where I am sailing as it flows , I know I have to reach to its end oneday, I just want to mark my presence on this mother earth. That's what my mother always wanted me to do, achiive something in life. I went through so many career paths in the last 12 years. Time seems to pass like a burning candle. Everyone who was there in my life 12 years back, nobody seems to be there now. All new faces new people. Even what I used to know as my family changed. Isnt that enough to break a person. But I am smiling and trying to find my own identity. I have my family , my daughter my husband and me. Struggling through the pain of family melodrama in my inlaws house, I lost my father when my daughter was 2. My mother lives alone in a new apartment. Everything seems new in life but not fresh. There is indeed something that is missing in my life. ...

At the end of the day, it’s always tiring; today is no different. What’s more painful is the toothache I have—it’s because of my wisdom teeth that haven’t grown properly yet. I am 34 years old and struggling with this tooth pain every day. I swear to God, it hurts a lot. Only somebody who has gone through this phase can understand. Others can only imagine! My body is tired, but my mind wants to do a lot of things. I want to watch movies—real suspenseful or thrilling ones. Well, I don’t even remember the last time I watched a movie! It’s always work and work. My day ends at 12:00 midnight almost every day and begins at around 7:00 a.m. Well, it’s just that I feel a lot more exhausted, especially in the evenings. My words stop—nothing else comes to mind except for the physical pain I am going through. I have so much work to do. I am so stressed. At this point, I just want the pain to go away. It’s 11 p.m., and I just had my dinner. Now I’ve completed my other tasks, like locking the othe...